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Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last!
Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep. Im not half as thunk as u drink. I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
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