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How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.
What is similar to a woman's period? Ur salary - coz it comes once a month, last about 5 to 6 day and if it doesn't come it means u r in deep trouble.
Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and everyone driving faster than u is a maniac?
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks
If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight?
I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike Nintendo, I never get played.
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
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